


Citrus Rose

by soldiermom1973



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another prompt from <a href="http://chaosfay.deviantart.com/">ChaosFay</a></p><p>This one was the color orange.</p><p>This was also written before Trespasser came out hence any canon errors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Citrus Rose

The weather was turning at Skyhold. Soon, the temperatures would drop and snow would fall from the skies in an ever-increasing fashion. But for now, Cullen stood in the garden, eyeing the one rose that had thus far refused to die. He gently ran his fingers over the tangerine petals, leaning over to inhale the just-barely-noticeable citrus scent. And he clenched his jaw as he thought about what could have been... what should have been.

The commander of the Inquisition's forces never pictured himself falling in love – he'd long ago written off the notion and was ok with idea of spending his days in perennial bachelorhood. But when Ellana fell out of the breach, she fell into his heart. And yes, it's as corny as a farmer's field, but that was the way he felt. So, not only had he fallen in love but his heart was won by an elf. And she was a mage. If Cullen had been told 5 years ago that he'd fall for a Dalish mage, he would have laughed. Love? Please, there was simply no time for that. And an elf? He had nothing against them but really just didn't think they were his type. And to top it all off, she was a mage! To have feelings for a mage after what had happened in Ferelden?? There was no way Cullen would ever think it possible.

But whenever he was around her, he was every bit as shy and awkward as he had been when he was younger. He completely misread her attempts to flirt and whenever he tried to start a conversation he would trip over his own tongue, blush profusely, and mutter an apology as he hurried away. Her pained looks weren't lost on him, though, and he found out later that she thought he actually hated her.

By the time he had finally mustered the courage to do something about what was in his heart, it was too late – she had been claimed by another. So, Cullen pushed his feelings down and maintained the facade of only wanting friendship from her. After all, she was happy and that was most important to him. The fact that it was another elf who'd won her affection soothed his bruised ego, too. At least the pair had more in common than he would have had with her.

After Haven, she planted a rose bush in Skyhold's garden as a memorial for the ones who didn't make it to the elvish ruin. Several people told her that it wouldn't work - roses were too temperamental and the conditions at the fortress were entirely too harsh but Ellana didn't listen. She tended the bush every day while she was there and on the days she couldn't, others made sure the plant was fed and watered. After several months of hard work (and a lot of swearing in her native tongue), the plant produced one lone bud. Cullen smiled when he remember how she squealed and clapped when she saw that her hard work was rewarded with a single flower, hued in her favorite color with a scent that lightly teased of citrus fruit.

He would watch her as she tended that lone flower, doting on it as a mother might dote on a sickly child. She would talk to it, sing to it, and he swore one time he even saw her kiss it. He would watch with a heavy weight on his heart as Solas would laugh at her ministrations, the two teasing each other in elvish. He would turn guiltily away as the woman of his dreams embraced another, showering him with adoring words and gentle caresses.

Now, that one flower was all he had left. Corypheus had been defeated and with his demise, Ellana's love also disappeared. For days, she was inconsolable – she had lost her clan to mercenaries paid for by a supposed Inquisition ally in Wycome, she had lost her love when Solas disappeared after the fight with Corypeus, and she felt as though she had nothing left to live for. Cullen didn't dare confess his feelings to her then – she was far too emotionally vulnerable – but he did the best he could for her as a friend.

One day, he stopped by her quarters to see if she felt up to some chess and was surprised to find it deserted. On a desk was a letter, written in her beautiful flowing script on her favorite, pale cantaloupe-colored paper and addressed to him.

_Cullen -_

_I know you'll be the one to find this letter. Of all the friends I still have at Skyhold, you are the one who has checked on me several times a day, every day. You have been my rock since Solas left and for that, I thank you. Not many people are blessed to be surrounded by as many people who care for them as I have been which is why I feel like what I am about to do is one of the most selfish things I have ever done in my life. I have to find him, Cullen. Morrigan said there were other eluvians and I must find one and use it to help me track him down. Please don't try to follow me and please don't send anyone after me. I am no longer needed at Skyhold – Corypheus is dead, the sky has been healed, and Your Trainer has been working on a way to close the rifts that yet remain in Thedas without having to use my anchor._

_I only ask 2 things of you – 1. Please do not beat yourself up for not telling me sooner how you felt. I did not figure it out until after I had fallen for Solas but when I did, so many things made sense. Sometime after we arrived in Skyhold, I realized that while we were in Haven, your behavior wasn't because you hated me but quite the opposite. I know how hard it must have been for you to stand aside and let me be with Solas and I appreciate that you didn't take advantage of me after he disappeared. Learn from it, though, vhenan'ara, and when again you feel a stirring in your heart, make sure to tell whomever was lucky enough to capture your attention how you feel. 2. Please take care of the rose. I know winter is coming and that poor flower has endured much since it first blossomed. If you like, perhaps you could trim it and see if Dorian might know of a way to preserve it. If you can do that, then keep that flower close to you and remember me always._

_Ir abelas, ma vhenan._

Cullen felt tears sting at the corner of his eyes as he read her words several more times. He knew what the elvish she'd written translated to and it made his heart ache even more with the question of what could have been had he been more bold. He carefully laid the paper on her desk and looked around, the emptiness of the room suddenly feeling overwhelming. He hurried to the library, thankful that Dorian was still there.

The mage did, indeed, know of a way to preserve Ellana's beloved orange rose and, fortunately, he didn't give Cullen a hard time about it. The pair quietly made their way to the garden where Dorian muttered a spell in Tevene and nodded to Cullen to quickly snip the flower's stem. When he did, the flower began to glow, a soft light spilling from the petals making their pale hue a more intense shade of orange.

Cullen slowly spun the flower in his fingers, staring in awe at what Dorian had done. Ellana would have loved it, he thought. As he made his way back to his own quarters, Cullen pondered what Ellana had said in the letter. She was gone and there was a very good chance he would never see her again but he had her rose and that would be enough until his heart was ready to move on.


End file.
